P&P SHOCKER: JIMMY V. IS ACTUALLY DISGRACED TOUR DE FRANCE WINNER FLOYD LANDIS

Well, it was quite a week in the old Center City Softball League, and the moral compass of our little association is still spinning out of control.

The big news broke first regarding Bishop’s Collar, which was found to have a professional athlete on its roster – former Eagles safety Walter Thurmond – during most of a winning streak that saw the Collar jump way up in league standings.

Here is one account of the story, which also links to the original report on CSN Philly, and then another here that has audio from Thurmond, speaking for the alleged Dick Mahoney. It also has Marcus Hayes, who was brought in as a CCSL expert. It’s kind of a hell of a thing.

We don’t have many rules in the CCSL – in fact, almost none that I’ve ever determined – but you would think that putting a pro athlete on the field would be one of them. (“It’s a league game, Smokey. Mark it zero.”)

However, apparently, you would be wrong. According to sources within the Collar organization, only one member of the team actually knew the real identity of Dick Mahoney and the rest of the team thought the wig was real and not just an homage to Steve Jeltz. Well, OK, sure.

When the Pen & Pencil team played BC this season, it was very early on and Mahoney’s first game. I don’t have the book, but those who were there remember that he looked great, resplendent in an all-white uniform topped by a Dodgers hat, but he didn’t do much, including a strikeout.

Well, he figured things out. The Blog Committee took in a game between the Collar and the Art Museum a week or so later, and saw Thurmond/Mahoney/Jeltz hit two home runs that were monstrous. He was playing centerfield, but despite a certain resemblance, it was determined that this couldn’t be Walter Thurmond because he didn’t get beat deep. (Sorry. Unavoidable.)

It was him, though, the same guy who, on his Eagles bio, said his dream job would be to start at shortstop for the Dodgers.

Now, just as we were getting on our high horse about the sanctity of the league, came the bad news that some of us were dreading. It turns out that Jim Vecchione, brought on board by Chip Proctor this season, had something to hide as well, which might include testosterone patches on his testicles.

Yes, our own Jimmy V. is actually noted Mennonite professional cyclist and occasional doper Floyd Landis. When he arrived at the field on a racing bike and was still able to wear cleats while riding it, that was a tipoff. A few of us on the team were aware of the alias, but who would ever think that an identity scandal would surface in the CCSL? Not I.

So, here’s the bad news. We have to forfeit some wins. The league commissioner is trying to determine how many, and he’s up to his eyebrows with the Bishop’s Collar thing, too. I just can’t decide if it’s time to come clean about Lynch, too.

All of which is amusing, but just delays the game report from the week, which includes a 16-3 loss to the South Philly Tap Room. Basically, we sucked and they showed up. We didn’t field well, and probably gave them half their runs, but, so what, it would have been an 8-3 loss.

We managed just 16 hits, all singles. Leadoff man Keith Craig had three hits and scored two of our runs. Brian Donlen also had three hits. Chris Brennan and the Blog Committee had two hits each and those are the highlights. The rest of the lineup went 6-for-23. Oh, George Miller got so mad at Mark Bruno he hit a foul ball that nearly killed Ron Goldwyn coaching at third. Looked like this.

Manager Mark Nevins returns for games Monday and Wednesday this coming week, and that will definitely get things back on track. He’s got a lot to figure out, like who’s going to play first now that Vecchione/Landis is suspended. That’s a puzzler. Maybe we’ll call the Collar for some recruiting

advice.

Chip and Yaz discuss the Vecchione/Landis controversy deep into the night at Dairy 2.