JUST WHEN THINGS WERE LOOKING UP

Well, our sort of disjointed season came to an end in the quarterfinals of the postseason against the Fairmount Griffins, the artists formerly known as the Art Museum. We lost by a 15-5 score, but hung around within striking distance until we ran completely out of steam in the final inning.

Timing is everything and we had bad timing with the schedule. A lot of absences that couldn’t be avoided added up to a thin squad, but we were far from embarrassed. Much thanks to Yvonne Dennis for finishing out the season with us, giving us distaff depth, and the veteran of the Daily News team glory days has indicated she’d like to return to the roster next season. So it is written. So it will be done.

The P&P softball culture isn't for everyone.

Also a good time to thank newcomers Jim Vecchione and Kate Hagedorn, whose rookie seasons were a wonderful fit for our team, both from a softball perspective and on the sideline, too. The Pen & Pencil softball culture, which can be described as being selectively serious, isn’t for everyone. You have to love to play, love to win, but also appreciate the twin gods of beer and laughter regardless of the outcome.

The Attendance/Blog Committee apologizes for its own absences this season, but stuff happens. Manager Mark Nevins has already agreed to a return engagement for the 2017 season – if you open your window quickly, you can hear him say, “I did the fuck not” – and that ensures another successful campaign.

We started out 8-2 this season, opening with a 9-6 win over a Bishop’s Collar team that included a disguised Walter Thurmond, former Eagles safety. It turned out to be our only win against a team that would finish above .500, which makes our season difficult to judge. We finished with four straight

The few, the proud, the losers.

losses, including the Art playoff game, but with the exception of getting smacked around by Catahoula, we were in every game. And the beer and the laughs, etc.

Please try to attend the league All-Star Game, which is scheduled for Tues., Aug. 2. (That could change if championship series is delayed further, but you’ll be informed if it does.) If you feel like playing, bring a glove. All-Star rules are a little loose. Otherwise, there will be cookout stuff and beer and a good time. I think it’s at Dairy 4 this year, but will get that out in the note, too.

There is a possibility of a friendly or two in August or September against various teams that would like an outing. So, don’t lose your glove. Speaking of which, I have a black Wilson glove in my possession. Fits a righthander. If it is yours, speak up.

As you were.

SUBS AND HOAGIES

Who are these people?

Yvonne.

Kind of an interesting last two weeks of the regular season, although the Pen & Pencil Club skidded toward the playoffs with losses to Bishop's Collar, Catahoula and the Nomads. They are the top three seeds in the league, and we did play two of them closely, but the story was mostly that we had some
key absensces that required a little of this and that.
Above is our Hoagiefest Night team, minus one or two, but

Katherine.

including the Anthonys Sr. and Jr. and Katherine Bonnin, local model and FOG (Friend of George). Katherine is on Instagram and I'll leave it at that. Also joining us in the hectic fortnight were Andy Schwartz, the pride of Colgate, and, back by special engagement,Yvonne Dennis, a legacy from the glory days of the Daily News team. Also, we had Keegan Craig, 14-year-old son of Keith, playing third base for us against Catahoula, and wouldn't it be nice to be 14 again?
That's a lot of moving parts for a finely-tuned machine such as ours, so maybe when we settle into the postseason, there will be a little more consistency. That postseason arrives on Wednesday against the Artists formerly known as the Art Museum, now the Fairmount Griffins. We have a long history with them and the bottom line is we always have a close game and this one isn't going to be any different.

Obligatory shot of Yaz at Hoagiefest.

The game is on the unfortunate plain of Edgeley 3, but we are the lowest-seeded quarterfinal, so it was sloppy seconds on field choice.
I'd love to have more details about the games in last couple of weeks, but I don't. I did see the book from Nomads and know that Anthony Sr. and Andy were 3 for 3, with a triple for Ant, so they helped. I can tell you that Yvonne hit and fielded well, as always, that we generally didn't do poop against Catahoula, and that Keegan is going to be fine member of our team in about 40 years.
Anyway, I'll substitute facts with pictures. Get your running in. Answer the head count email. Do everything you can to get to the playoff game. They don't allow subs in that one. Maybe hoagies.

Eventually all great careers face their sunsets and turn into mulch.

SO YOU WANT TO BE MY SPANDEX BOY?

OK, this is embarrassing, but whatever. No idea details of win over Franklin. I remember that Yaz hit a triple to left-center and I remember tearing my hamstring on a double to left and I remember that was very good reason to dip into the Vicodin afterward, but everything else is kind of like a Seurat painting. Lotta dots.

Let’s see. It was close for a long time and Nevins said, “It’s really close,” and maybe it was like 3-2

Ellen and P&P Hall of Famer Mike Galan, a special guest.

in the middle of the game. Wait a minute. Nevins caught a ball sliding. Yeah, he did. Miller did something. I don’t remember.

Anyway, we won 6-2. That much I know because it says so in the official league stats. This was a tough game because Franklin is really good this year. They beat a lot of teams, like Tap, I think.

Ooh, I remember something else. It was muddy. There you go.\

Got some pictures here. And a video of Yaz hitting a ball that drove the Gimp Committee home in the late innings. Enjoy the pictures. They look better with Vicodin.

Everyone have a nice Memorial Day.

So, hit it to left. It'll be a double. Sure, you'll rip your hamstring, but it's better than if I rip mine.

HONEY, COME QUICK. OUR BOY IS HOME.

And he's still filthy.

A very nice week for the forces of good in the Center City Softball League, with back-to-back wins over the Zoo and Honey Badgers that helped erase the memory of our paddling by the Tap Room.

It was especially nice to see leftfielder Russ Krause come crawling back to us for the Badgers game. He made up this incredible story about having a wife and a child to explain his absence, but we know Russ. He’s a lawyer. He makes up stories for a living, and nobody’s gonna marry him.

The win over the Zoo was pretty straight-forward, but we survived a back and forth game against the Badgers, thanks mostly to a 12-spot in the sixth inning that might be the largest single inning in P&P history. I’d go back through all the scorebooks, but that would be a pretty scary use of time. We also survived having the Blog Committee play third base on the moonscape of Edgeley 3, or maybe it was the other way around.

In any case, against the Zoo, manager Mark Nevins was 4 for 5 with a home run, two triples and four runs batted in. Three hits each for Jimmy V., Brian Donlen, Dan Rubin, George Miller and Jon Snyder. Courtney Sams started off a big week with a 2 for 3 night.

We scored 12 of the 15 runs in the first four innings and coasted home. Ron counted 26 hits, including seven for extra bases.

First rule of softball: 12 runs in an inning doesn't hurt.

On Wednesday, we jumped out quickly as well against the Honey Badgers and led 6-0 after three innings. We also left seven on base, but that didn’t worry us at the time. When the Badgers scored six of their own in the bottom of the fourth, it started to worry us. And when they added four in the fifth to lead 10-7, we were very worried. By that time, we had left 10 on base, and some of it wasn’t even Chip’s fault.

That brought on the top of the sixth and we finally got the hops and the placement and the luck that had been eluding us (although we still left the bases loaded). We brought 18 to the plate in the sixth, made three outs eventually, left three on, and that adds up to 12 runs coming across. There were 14 hits on Tommy DiNardo’s neat scoresheet, including two in the inning by Miller, Nevins, Rubin, Sams and Kathy Matheson. Pretty neat.

Badgers scored three in the bottom of the inning, but both teams went up and down in the seventh and that sealed the 19-13 win. Little Russ was 5 for 6 and Miller also had five hits, all of which landed in fair territory. Four hits each for Nevins, the Blog Committee and winning pitcher Chris Yasiejko. Three for Rubin, Sams and Matheson. Thirty-four hits in all, in 53 at-bats. And, yes, 13 runners left on.

We could complain about that last part, but it wasn’t a week to complain.

Hoagiefest! © is on Tuesday at Dairy 2, hosted by the Bishop’s Cheaters. We are playing at Dairy 4 against Franklin, so it will be an easy walk to the festivities. It’s usually a tough walk back, of course.

As you were.

Beer bongs, bonfires, body shots, naked bocce, extremely bad dating decisions and usually a lot of dogs pooping everywhere. Hoagiefest! (c), the annual celebration of CCSL camaraderie and foolishness is Tuesday following the games.

P&P SHOCKER: JIMMY V. IS ACTUALLY DISGRACED TOUR DE FRANCE WINNER FLOYD LANDIS

Well, it was quite a week in the old Center City Softball League, and the moral compass of our little association is still spinning out of control.

The big news broke first regarding Bishop’s Collar, which was found to have a professional athlete on its roster – former Eagles safety Walter Thurmond – during most of a winning streak that saw the Collar jump way up in league standings.

Here is one account of the story, which also links to the original report on CSN Philly, and then another here that has audio from Thurmond, speaking for the alleged Dick Mahoney. It also has Marcus Hayes, who was brought in as a CCSL expert. It’s kind of a hell of a thing.

We don’t have many rules in the CCSL – in fact, almost none that I’ve ever determined – but you would think that putting a pro athlete on the field would be one of them. (“It’s a league game, Smokey. Mark it zero.”)

However, apparently, you would be wrong. According to sources within the Collar organization, only one member of the team actually knew the real identity of Dick Mahoney and the rest of the team thought the wig was real and not just an homage to Steve Jeltz. Well, OK, sure.

When the Pen & Pencil team played BC this season, it was very early on and Mahoney’s first game. I don’t have the book, but those who were there remember that he looked great, resplendent in an all-white uniform topped by a Dodgers hat, but he didn’t do much, including a strikeout.

Well, he figured things out. The Blog Committee took in a game between the Collar and the Art Museum a week or so later, and saw Thurmond/Mahoney/Jeltz hit two home runs that were monstrous. He was playing centerfield, but despite a certain resemblance, it was determined that this couldn’t be Walter Thurmond because he didn’t get beat deep. (Sorry. Unavoidable.)

It was him, though, the same guy who, on his Eagles bio, said his dream job would be to start at shortstop for the Dodgers.

Now, just as we were getting on our high horse about the sanctity of the league, came the bad news that some of us were dreading. It turns out that Jim Vecchione, brought on board by Chip Proctor this season, had something to hide as well, which might include testosterone patches on his testicles.

Yes, our own Jimmy V. is actually noted Mennonite professional cyclist and occasional doper Floyd Landis. When he arrived at the field on a racing bike and was still able to wear cleats while riding it, that was a tipoff. A few of us on the team were aware of the alias, but who would ever think that an identity scandal would surface in the CCSL? Not I.

So, here’s the bad news. We have to forfeit some wins. The league commissioner is trying to determine how many, and he’s up to his eyebrows with the Bishop’s Collar thing, too. I just can’t decide if it’s time to come clean about Lynch, too.

All of which is amusing, but just delays the game report from the week, which includes a 16-3 loss to the South Philly Tap Room. Basically, we sucked and they showed up. We didn’t field well, and probably gave them half their runs, but, so what, it would have been an 8-3 loss.

We managed just 16 hits, all singles. Leadoff man Keith Craig had three hits and scored two of our runs. Brian Donlen also had three hits. Chris Brennan and the Blog Committee had two hits each and those are the highlights. The rest of the lineup went 6-for-23. Oh, George Miller got so mad at Mark Bruno he hit a foul ball that nearly killed Ron Goldwyn coaching at third. Looked like this.

Manager Mark Nevins returns for games Monday and Wednesday this coming week, and that will definitely get things back on track. He’s got a lot to figure out, like who’s going to play first now that Vecchione/Landis is suspended. That’s a puzzler. Maybe we’ll call the Collar for some recruiting

advice.

Chip and Yaz discuss the Vecchione/Landis controversy deep into the night at Dairy 2.

FUTURE SO BRIGHT, HAVE TO WEAR SHADES

Yes, it took a while, following a narrow loss to the Art Museum and a week off for Memorial Day, but it was finally time to get back on the sunny side of the street and continue the long Pen & Pencil softball tradition of winning.

And Dairy 2 is definitely the sunny side of the street. The P&P offense wasn’t blinded, however,

We need those double bases for the
league next season, right?

banging out 25 hits on the way to a 17-5 win and a season sweep of the National Constitution Center. That win improved our record to 5-1 and erased the memory of the 9-6 loss to the Griffons or Griffins or Andy Griffiths or whatever it is the Art Museum team is calling themselves these days.

Back from out west.

The win over NCC had a little bit of P&P Classic. There were foul balls from George Miller, like this one that nearly tracked down Ron as he coached third base. There was a near-collision involving manager Mark Nevins at first base. Wasn’t his fault, as you can tell from this video, but is it ever? And there was our usual spritely base-running, as demonstrated by Dan Rubin, described in a previous blog post as running like a man touching lightly across lily pads and determined to touch them all. Looks kind of like thishere.

That’s the video portion of our show. Back to mathematics. Against NCC, Jon Snyder, Kate Hagedorn and Chris Yasiejko had two hjts each. Three hits for Miller, Chip Proctor and Jim Vecchione. Four

hits including two doubles for Nevins and four hits with six runs batted in for Brian Donlen.

That’s a fair amount of hitting and we’ll need all of it and more on Tuesday against the South Philly Tap Room, which has struggled a little thus far, but will want to regain its form in this ancient rivalry.

See you then. Get your running in.

"I think the Bob Ford Managing Memorial will go just about right here."

YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY

That is exactly what Dan Rubin said and, in fact, today (Thursday) is Dan's 60th birthday. He celebrated this week by homering in a rollicking 22-15 Pen & Pencil victory over the Fighting Amendments of the National Constitution Center.
"Do you know how far I have to hit a ball to score standing up?" Rubin asked.
Yes, the answer, as it applies to Edgeley 4, is this: You have to hit it to the road, and even then it's kind of touch and go. Dan is deliberate on the base paths, with a Ruthian stride that brings to mind a man running across lily pads, trying not to linger too long on any, but trying to touch them all. (You don't get this kind of stuff anywhere else, folks.)

Messy book.

Rubin's blast deep, deep into right field highlighted a seven-run fifth inning that finally put us comfortably ahead in a game that had a little too much back to its back and forth for a while. We scored early and often, but NCC was able to answer and we helped out a little with some so-so fielding, but eventually opened things up to improve our record to 4-0.
It was another wonderfully messy scorebook on our side. P&P had 30 hits in just six innings at the plate and there were a lot of heroes to go around. Manager Mark Nevins had a nine-RBI evening, with a pair of three-run home runs, a two-run triple and a sacrifice fly. The book says that the Attendance Committee was 5-for-5, and that George Miller and Jon Snyder each had three hits.
Kate Hagedorn continued to have this game figured out. Hit the ball on the ground to the left side and let those laggards try to throw her out. She was 4-for-4. Courtney Sams smoked the ball for two hits and was robbed on another drive into left..
Back to Rubin, he was 4-for-4 and set the world record for the greatest disparity between consecutive hits. One at bat after he put his home run through the rubgy goalpost down the right field line, he topped a pitch and it landed just in front of the plate, sort of actually touching the plate, but in fair territory. Hey, it looked good in the scorebook. So did everything else.
Onward, to Tuesday vs. the hated South Philly Nomads Pizza contingent. Let's top them.

Jon Snyder was late again. He said he was working, but we found out he was signing autographs in the stands.